Breasts in Venezuela, Germany and the USA (updated)

I read in the news today there are about 40000 breast implants in Venezuela a year. I checked out in how many breast implants there were in Germany and the USA last year: about 25000 and 264241 respectively. There are 29 million people in Venezuela. There are a little bit less than 82 million people in Germany.

30.57 women for 100000 persons (thus, for about 50000 females of every age) have a breast implant every year in Germany. 84.3 women for 100000 people have that kind of operation in the US during the same time. In Venezuela, it's 137.9 women per 100 000 inhabitants.

It's weird and it's a pity. I think a few may need that because of some illness or the like. Most don't.

When do Venezuelans shag? (updated)

What you always wanted to know but were afraid to ask: in what month do Venezuelans shag the most?

I checked out several municipalities and the pattern wasis absolutely clear or, as Tibisay would say: the trend is irreversible. So, it turns out that Venezuelans shagged the most in January. Or at least Venezuelan women get pregnant more often in January than at any other time of the year. And the moment when less conceptions take place is May.

Updated: this is only valid if you take into account all voters

Birth distribution for Venezuelans in two parishes of Valencia, Carabobo

For more: for those parishes in Valencia and other municipalities

Now, this IS weird. If you try to see how the birth-month distribution per year was, you see a very strange anomaly for the voters in Carabobo born between 1966 and 1974:

Apparently, there were a lot of extra people being born in October in that period.

Das souveräne Schwein

Die Erdöllgesellschaft PDVSA, die seit 1973 dem venezolanischen Staat gehört und seit 1999 von der Chávez-Regierung als immer zur Verfügung stehendes Sparschwein angesehen wird, beschäftigt sich immer mehr mit Aufgaben, die mit ihren eigentlichen Funktionen nichts zu tun haben. Und so will jetzt PDVSA Agrícola 24 Tonnen Schweinfleisch und Schweinprodukte monatlich produzieren. Das wird primär im Bundesstaat Bolívar stattfinden. Ich frage mich, ob der jetzige Gouverneur dieses Bundesstaates, der Militär Rangel Gómez, dabei mithelfen will. Der Name für diese Marke: Cerdo El Soberano. Das ist so was von zweideutig...vor allem, weil Chávez sich für "das Volk" hält und das Volk ja der Souverän sein sollte.

Ich bin mal gespannt, was für Korruptionsfälle später ans Licht kommen...wie bei PUDREVAL. 

Die Militär-Bonzen haben bis jetzt wirklich Schwein gehabt. Wir werden wahrscheinlich schon wieder etwas wie dies (auf englisch) erleben.

Superman acquires the Venezuelan citizenship

We read some days ago how Superman was considering  ending his US-citizenship. Blogger Daniel was rumbling about that.

Let me tell you something: I don't know if Superman has already relinquished his US citizenship, but I can tell you he is, according to our Consejo Electoral Nacional, a Venezuelan citizen.

Superman decided to go to Venezuela because he saw how crime has gone over the top

In case you don't believe me, just go to the CNE site online and type his Venezuelan ID: 4308005.

I have a hunch: Superman is from the opposition, as he was not "randomly" selected to become a member of the local electoral board.

Do Russians love Hugo?

Well, not specially. According to the Russian company Medialogija (Lenta dixit), the Venezuelan military caudillo ranks position 37 in the list of most popular world leaders. Hugo is thus much less popular than French president Nicolas Sarkozy (position 16), Kazakhastan dictator Nazarbaev (position 29) and Belorussian dictator Lukashenko (position 33). Position 1, 2, 3 and 4 are for Medvedev, Putin, Yanukovich and Obama.

Ouch, Hugo...that must hurt. You spent billions of dollars on Russian weapons and that is how they like you? You are giving them thousands and thousands of top land in Zulia for them to grow bananas and that is how they appreciate you? Well, on the other hand Russians voted Georgian Jossef Stalin the third greatest Russian of all times. Still: it must hurt.

The military Chávez is looking for more bones. Do you have some?

The country is in recession, corruption scandals are the daily bread and crime reigns in Venezuela but the military president is obsessed with hero bones.

There is a Venezuelan commission now that is trying to locate the bones of Francisco de Miranda, the Venezuelan independence hero who fought in the US, the French and the South American revolutions. Miranda was a quite remarkable man, a real homo universalis who wrote fascinating diaries about his travels through the world of the XVIII century. He corresponded with queens and kings, renown scientists and revolutionaries of his time. He was one of the key elements to initiate the independence movement in Venezuela. Although this is not told like that in Venezuela, he was actually betrayed by Bolívar, who wanted to save himself when Miranda was forced to surrender. Bolívar, curiously, later became the new leader of the Independence. Venezuela's history books reinterpret the story in the most incredible way, telling us Bolívar delivered Miranda to the Spaniards because he and others thought Miranda had betrayed the independence movement with...the Spaniards. Miranda was in prison from 1812 until his death in Cadiz, Spain, in 1816. Anyway: Miranda is part of the hero cult in Venezuela.

A few years ago some bones were discovered in the prison where Miranda was buried, in a public grave. Now there is a Chávez commission to try to verify that certain bones there are Miranda's. They are looking at bones of relatives for genetic tests. If they are sure about the bones in Cadiz being Miranda's, they want to bring them back to Venezuela. What's next? Are they going to try to bring Sucre's bones to Venezuela for next elections? Oops...Sucre is buried in Ecuador and he clearly stated he wanted his bones to stay in Ecuador. What other bones would Chávez want to bring to Venezuela in order to distract from Venezuela's problems? Will he use Venezuela's resources to find Pedro Camejo's bones? Juan wrote a bit more on this show here. I wrote something else in Spanish here.

Anyway, expect more details from Bolívar's necrophilic show before the Parliamentary elections of 26th September: the possible face of Bolívar and details about his magnificent humeri, his portentous femuri and his amazing skull.

I am actually in contact with someone who may be a descendant of Miranda, but not through maternal line. Hat tip to her.

Venezuelan music for export

If you want to break the ice, just play a little bit of this and be sure to provide for a good cocktail with Venezuelan rum and real tropical fruits.

Chavistas as poets

In Spanish we call it vergüenza ajena. Dutch speakers have the impossible term plaatsvervangende schaamte for the same concept. In English I have heard people call it "Spanish shame", but I have never heard it in real English conversations. In any case: that is what I felt when I read the Venezuelan ambassador to Spain, Julián Isaías Rodríguez, had written a poem to celebrate Spain's victory in the Football World Cup. Rodríguez was a supporter of coupster Chávez from early on. He worked as Venezuela's Attorney General from 2000 to 2007 and during that time he was more like the main Attorney Chavista than anything else, as the only thing he did was to defend the interests of boliburgueses. As a prize, he got the embassy of Venezuela in Spain. He somehow pretends to be a poet: some of the texts he has written "denouncing" visits of the regime's critics to Spain can be read at the embassy's site. He is a Llanos man, as most of the big Chavista honchos.

You can read the new "poem" on the first page of the consulate in Madrid site. He sent that poem to the king of Spain as well as to Rodríguez Zapatero and other Spanish figures. The poem is simply bad, pathetic, the kind of poems I used to write when I was ten, the kind of poems I was ashamed of when I was eleven. Mind: even the president of Europe, Van Rompuy, writes haikus these days, but he is neither uploading them to the EU site nor making the sort of very basic spelling errors Rodríguez makes. If at least the ambassador had asked someone to correct those errors - they are not artist's license -, it would not be so disgraceful. Spanish is supposed to be the ambassador's mother tongue!

I would not be so annoyed if at least the Chavista regime would count the votes of Venezuelans abroad. Even if Venezuelans abroad have taken part in several elections and referendums, the regime decided after 2006 NOT TO PUBLISH THOSE RESULTS. They prefer to say, as minister Maduro, that over half of Venezuelans registered to vote abroad actually signed a petition in support of Chávez's proposals, which is a lie. They prefer also to write bad poems in bad Spanish.

Venezuela made it for Egypt U-20 World Cup

Yes, we made it for the first time: we are taking part in a Football World Cup (football as in real football, not as in football with cushions and helmets)

Venezuela has had difficulties to classify because:

1. People in Venezuela have traditionally preferred more baseball, basketball and other sports and there is consequently little money for football
   
2. The government has never invested enough or well
   
3. We are in one of the toughest continents for classifying, with the top teams of Brazil, Argentina, Uruguay and Paraguay next to us and other countries where football is also much more popular than in Venezuela: Colombia, Ecuador, Peru, Chile, Bolivia...well, almost all the rest.
4. Venezuelans have always screwed it at the last minute because they become nervous (which shows lack of practice and confidence as football players)

So I am happy.
Ps 1: The U-20 World Cup is for players under 20.

Ps 2: FIFA on the teams that classified